If you would be so kind as to imagine one of those spivs, who sidles up to you in the pub and opens his jacket to reveal a load of watches hanging from the lining, then that is roughly how you should view me and this tasting-note, as I extinguish an imaginary fag and whisper in your shell-like...

"Pssst. Keep this on the 'down low', right, or I'm going to get rumbled, but this here wine was made by one of the most famous winemakers in South Africa. You've heard of Chris Alheit, right? Well, every year he makes this brilliant wine called 'Cartology', which the toffs fork out £36.00 a bottle for (I'm not having you on, they do!), but what not a lot of people know is that he always has a bit of Chenin Blanc left over, a barrel here, a tank there, which doesn't make it into the final blend, so he bangs it all together and bottles it under this label. Bosh!"

When we were first given a sample to taste, by Richard Kelley MW (aka 'The Liberator'), we knew nothing of its provenance, but we immediately looked at each other and gave our pre-agreed signal for 'winner', which we can't disclose, but involves the peculiar stretching of various facial muscles. The quality and the price are mismatched in your favour, a wine showing terrific mineral energy, with classic Cape Chenin characteristics of pear, warm hay, apple and creme fraiche and a little salty sprinkle, suggesting sea breezes were involved during the ripening season. 13% alc. Drink now-2030.

Press review:

JancisRobinson.com: “Papaya, papaya pips, orange and monkey orange. Grippy fine-ground spices texture. Almost chilli on the end! Vanilla pod – I wonder if there is a bit of barrel here. Cheerful and robust. (TC). Drink now-2026.” 16 points